The 101st Bourbonborne Division is an operational whiskey organization. It conducts worldwide operations in defense of sensible whiskey consumption, open bottles, reasonable pricing, accurate information, and the principle that fermented grain should not require this much bureaucracy — a principle the Division defends by generating enormous quantities of bureaucracy, a contradiction it has been ordered not to examine.
Report for EnlistmentStanding Orders
- Drink what you like.
- Open the bottle. It is made of corn. There will be more.
- Scarcity is not quality. Price is not quality. The velvet bag is definitely not quality.
- Do not gatekeep newcomers. Every operative was once a person holding a red solo cup of something regrettable, and somebody poured for us anyway.
- Respect genuine expertise. Suspect anyone who leads with their title.
- Nothing issued by this Division confers authority over anything, including whiskey.
- It's whiskey.
Current Operations
Operation Empty the Bunker
Supervised liberation of bottles held unopened since 2017 “for a special occasion.” The occasion is Tuesday. The occasion has always been Tuesday.
Operation Mashbill
Determine whether the mysterious sourced bourbon is actually MGP before somebody confidently claims that it is.
Bottle-Share Peacekeeping
Neutral observers deployed to protect the newcomer, meter the hype, and stand between the host's unicorn and the guest who “just wants to see how heavy it feels.”